Notes in Passing

Fingers digging in flaccid flesh
carries the stench of soap and sex;
enema clean,
thoughts of pondering unexplored skin,
crept in like dirt under the nail-
But baby, if I don't
how ever will I know
the breadth of your cave/hole/love...

Baby, I don't mean to be rude;
I just want to get into you-
feel like I'm falling through.


                                              ***

Afraid to call it what it is-
Coward- Took two years
to bring you here;
Spent so much
time.
Time is nothing.
Counting hours like counting cuts
Silence held like my body in your arms,
always looking out- looking away
watching the leaves fall
with x-ray eyes-
see through smiles to whitened teeth
and heavy hanging words
in the curdling atmosphere.
Wanting to be someone else,
far away; think in distance.
Trapped in a bell jar
between pit and pendulum
screaming silence:
Get me out of here.

Notes on the Outside World

It's taken a long time to build myself up to the stature of the figure thus presented, and every day, I lose a little more. These are notes, in passing, of a journey that brought me here...


Everything is unsure,
unsteady footing, ground
that trembles underneath
with turbulence.
Nothing stands to reason.
Nothing stands at all,
invested with time-
bitter delays of a prophecy
gave way unto decay
and entropy.

                                               ***

Broken hands make heavy work-
hands that bleed
shake with trepidation
and make frail structures
where cuts smart.

                                               ***

Cancer!
Rot gut!
Bring it on!
I have need of venoms,
and will waste away
as a beggar who is always hungry
but I will never be
too scared to live!

                                               ***

Old red brick
against a pale blue sky,
so serene,
feels like dreaming
as my heart sinks hollow
in my belly,
holding hands with Paradise,
why?
It feels good to be outside.

                                               ***

Empty, eternal, grey
like gelid windows
glazed over blue
in infinite space,
vastness stretching from time immemorial
open roads lead to Rome
where my beauty sleeps...

                                               ***

Freezing cold,
kisses hurt the worst,
cuts a little deeper
in winter. Love like sun
thaws cracked skin,
brittle as bleached bones
on snow.

                                               ***

Rumble of a
'smoker's' cough, stagnant
like a burrowed toad
digging in to me;
dying to get in to you

                                               ***

Love rhymes with apathy
it is nonplussed
c'est ne plus

                                               ***

Insides hurting badly;
body broken,
bruised, black and blue-
waiting for buses at sunrise-